Love Your Haters. Just Don’t Looove Your Haters.
November 1st, 2010 by Ernesto Gluecksmann
- Image by ★ spunkinator via Flickr
I participated in #Blogchat this past Sunday and the morning after I saw this post by Allison Boyer from Blogworld, inspired by a Tweet I wrote, “Whatever you do, you can’t make everyone happy. If you got a hater or two, you’re probably doing something right.” Following is excerpt from her post:
Easy enough to say, but I also definitely understand why some people get upset when a hater starts leaving comments. We put a lot of work into our blogs, to the point where they feel like our children. If someone doesn’t like our child, that’s anger-inducing…but when someone makes fun of our child? Well, I don’t know about you, but it makes me want to lash out right back.
It pays to remember what @EGlue mentioned – if someone is hating on you for some reason, it’s probably an indication that you’re doing a good job with your blog in general. People may not like a certain post you write or a certain decision you make for your blog, but they feel connected enough that they have to leave a comment. You want your community to feel so invested in your blog that they leave emotional comments when they don’t like someone. If you’re community’s reaction is, “Meh,” that’s probably an indication that you’re not doing a very good job connecting with them.
And remember too, there’s a difference between a hater and a troll. A hater might hate you, but they make valid points or actually have something to say, even though it might come out in a not-so-nice way. A troll, on the other hand, is just trying to piss you off (or piss off another commenter). They don’t actually care about your blog, your community, or even, in many cases, the topic. Haters warrant a response, though do so tactfully. Trolls rarely warrant a response and sometimes even warrant being deleted, depending on their comments and your blog’s policies.
The bottom line? Although negativity often hurts, try to find the constructive criticism in it and remember that just because someone has a different opinion doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong as a blogger. Work on building up that thick skin and keep moving forward. – Allison Boyer, Overhead on #Blogchat: Haters (@EGlue)
Yep, 140 characters doesn’t leave us much room to elaborate does it? Thanks for the post Allison!
I like her distinction between a troll and a hater. She is absolutely right, that trolls are only interested in getting you to react. But “haters” are people that care (a lot) about the topic, or at least care enough about your treatment of the topic to let tell you a thing or two.
A tip here to keep in the back of your mind (or as a sticky note on your monitor) is that no matter what, your initial reaction to any criticism is naturally always going to be to go into “defensive mode” and that’s likely to be the wrong reaction. Take a break. Step away from the computer. Think about the value of addressing valid criticism and disregard any haters where the middle ground simply won’t be found.
One of the tips we give give to our clients at Infamia is to stick to addressing the facts and leave subjectivity out of the discussion. Everyone has an opinion, not everyone is going to feel the same way about it. However, addressing the facts as to how you came to your conclusions and claims, is insightful and lets them know that you are listening.
Ultimately, knowing your haters is going to make you a better writer, decision maker, business person, leader, etc. in that you will be well aware where the friction exists between you and your readers. The haters that bothered to leave you a piece of their mind, gave you invaluable information as to where you might want to consider focusing and improving your message.
These are opportunities to truly show that you do in fact care.
BTW, a word to any would-be haters out there: it’s far easier to destroy than to build. There is no real value in being a critic, unless you’re also willing to provide an alternative solution.
Tags: Blog, Blog World Expo, Criticism, Haters, Hatred, Infamia, Troll, Twitter